can't dance hiaku

it's a simple waltz
yet his eyes bore into me
i'm doing it wrong

embarrassing hiaku

walking in the room
i see my parents dancing
i wish i was blind

duck hiaku

i feel like a duck
as i waddle back and forth
so where's my feathers?

still running hiaku

running's all i know
they've been chasing me for years
yet i'm still not caught

metamorphosis

we started reading it in ap after we finished the stranger. and i dove into it a little bit late since i was making up a ap test i missed on the stranger (i found out i got a 93 on it and a 6/7 so i'm pretty happy about that). anyway when i got back into the classroom the first thing i hear is something along the lines of "wait, he's a bug?" well this ought to be good. a story about a bug in a classroom that pretty much consists of girls. it makes me wonder if the only guy in the class enjoyed it.

anyway when i started to read it i thought it was creepy. the main character gregor waking up to find that he's a bug, and a human sized one at that. we never find out why he just suddenly turned into a bug, just that he did and that he's more worried about going to work than the fact that he's a bug. it's strange to see that the character finds it more of an inconvenience than an actual problem. anyway his family finds out and reacts totally different than what you think. his mother goes to say something and then faints. and then his father begins to cry.

in the second half of the book you learn that gregor has been locked into his room and that the family has decided to keep him in there....my thoughts exactly. yet overtime i started to feel bad for the bug seeing how when he was human all he did was try and help his family, providing for them. but now they just see him as a, well, pest. so you can't help but feel bad for him at the end when * spoiler alert* he dies and the family hardly mourns. i guess you can see the opposite side of this from the families point of view. i know i would freak out if one day my sister turned into this huge bug and would probably handled things worse than what gregors family did.

the whole big deal with the metamorphosis in this book doesn't really focus on gregor's physical metamorphosis, but the metamorphosis of his family. they have to go through life and learn to work for themselves now that they're provider can't. the reader also sees how they have changed themselves and their views on gregor. seeing him as more of a bug than their son or brother. yes the book is mostly a focus on gregor, but it's really about how his family deals with it and seeing it through his eyes.

it's a short read though it comes in three parts. it might get a bit confusing but it all depends on which translation you read. overall the book was good but nothing special in my opinion. it's just something to refer back to when writing a paper or an essay.

casey's book epiphany

When I started to read the book Evermore by Alyson Noel during lunch one day my friend Casey saw the book and started to talk to me about it. She told me how much like Twilight it was which ruined the story for her since it could have been so good. As I read I began to pick up a few similarities. Like when one of the characters, Damen, put his hand on top of the main character’s, Ever, hand and she feels a shock. And then once again when Ever dreams that Damen was in her room at night. Casey was right. That got me thinking about something Casey said to me last year in World History class.

One of her epiphanies as me and my friends like to call them. She said that pretty much all of the teen books are the same with only a few exceptions. That they’re all about romance with a girl who thinks she’s not pretty or a freak ending up with the hottest guy out there without doing anything. Which then lead me to think about Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey which I learned about in World Literature this year. How the same plot line has been used over and over again for hundreds of years as explained by Campbell in The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

Is it just becoming more obvious in books how similar they are to one another? Is there no originality anymore? Or is a good idea being ruined by the need to have romance and the thoughtlessness of a character being a Mary Sue?

I just hope there are no more Twilight moments in Evermore.

breaking point

today started out as a good day. the eighth grade performance went well. i got out of three of my four classes and went to my last one which was art class. but then it change when i got home. it had been tech week all week for the school show and everyday i ended up getting home at seven and eating at seven thirty. so having performed for the eighth grade this morning i didn't have to go to play practice. but i had practice for sweeney todd. i was tired and not feeling all that well to begin with so i was contemplating whether to go or not. my mom offered to drive saying that she needed to get some christmas shopping done. so i reluctantly agreed to go.

that's when it went downhill. during practice i got frustrated with that way things were going that i almost ended up breaking down and crying two times. i asked the director if i could leave early and she agreed so i grabbed my things and ran into the bathroom to let out a few tears before anyone could see. i then went to go find my mom who was shopping in the mall where the theatre is located. it was then that i started thinking which got me even more upset.

i'm tired.

i'm tired of being the one that always listens to other people's problems. maybe i want to be the one to complain.

i'm tired of people giving me small parts because they think it doesn't bother me because i don't go around and complain and get all bitchy like others do.

i'm tired of working hard while the same people get the lead all the time when i've been around longer than they have.

i'm tired of my theatre group. i've decided that sweeney todd is going to be my last show. i can stand the people anymore. it's not fun anymore. it's frustrating. and it really sucks to. i was hoping that i would get a lead roll before i had to leave kiss but i guess i won't. and i don't care what people say. i don't consider being a guy a lead role.

i'm tired of being stuck in the background all the time. i don't wanna be a mom, a maid, a man. i'm not the prettiest girl out there. i'm not the one getting what she wants so easily. i'm not the one with a boyfriend. i just wish that before my senior year ends i'm the beautiful one out in the spotlight.

morning music hiaku

music starts to play
the crowd is cheering loudly
my alarm goes off

the stranger

the book that is (i'm not sure if there's a movie call the stranger but whatever moving on). we're reading it in ap english and i have to say that i'm hating every minute of it. the main character just infuriates me so much, showing no emoition at all while decribing everything in detail without giving a single thing about himself away to the reader. it's absolutely horrible, to me at least some of the class seems to be enjoying it. i have yet to finish the book but i already have an idea that my opinion won't change by the end of the novel. i hate the main character. he's emotionless and insane and boring and...blah. and even though i don't favor the main character i don't happen to like how some of the other characters treat him. then there are the secondary characters who are seem like a bunch of idiots to me. i'm not a closed minded person and i'm open to the way the main character thinks (which is why i got upset when another character tried to force their religion on the main character) but i just can't stand it. personally i wouldn't recommend it to anyone so far.

i wish we could go back to waiting for godot.

music

it has been a major part of my life, not playing it just mostly listening and singing. the different melodies and lyrics create so many stories into my head. but that's what songs are, stories. just set to a beat and rhyme. but the stories in my head are different. similar yes but different. every time i hear the song hold your dreams from current fame movie, for example, i don't see what they show in the movie. no. i see a sort of fight sequence.

the beginning: exposition
~perhaps its the villain unfolding his/her evil plans to the hero/heroin
~perhaps its the journey to the up coming battle
tribal dance: rising action
~fast motion moves as the hero/heroin takes down the villain and his/her followers
end of tribal dance: climax
~the villain does something that upsets the hero/heroin and in slow motion the hero/heroin go to finish the villain
beginning of gospel: falling action
~the hero/heroin final destroy the villain and their evil plans restoring peace
the end: conclusion
~the hero/heroin breaths a sigh of relief finally able to relax
~the hero/heroin is reunited with the damsel in distress that usually goes with the villain's scheme

so yes, many different stories can come out of one song. even if it is already performed or blocked (theatre lingo).